Post by Patchsigns on Jul 15, 2005 20:49:15 GMT -5
Many years ago, I was in the music business. I had a few songs that I wrote that was recorded by a few folks out in California. (These were the days of 45 rpm records and 33-1/3 rpm albums.) It was 1981...
In those days, we didn't have web-sites to promote bands or
artists. We put out newsletters, instead. And I was no exception. I was able to get young folks all over the country to write a rock column or do artwork for me for the monthly newsletter that I published. I wanted to give these young teens a chance to express themselves through their creativity. In return, I would send them a little money... not much... but I wanted them to say that they were "professional" because they were getting paid for their self-expressions.
Brigitte was from Phoenix, Arizona. She did a rock column for me called "Phantom with the Headphones" as well as some artwork.
In the course of putting our this newsletter, I got to know these young teenagers from all over the country. They wrote to me about their dreams, their hopes and their miseries. Brigitte wanted to be a horse veterinarian.
In September of 1982, I received a Christmas card from her in the mail... but no column. I thought it was strange. Yet, knowing that young people who are involved with music or art or self-expression... sometimes, are esoteric and creatively unusual... I dismissed it.
Brigitte was heading off to college in Arizona and I knew that she must be so very busy preparing for it.
October came and went and so did November... and I didn't hear from Brigitte at all. No column. Perhaps she had lost interest in it. I had other people involved with the newsletter from all over the country and I had to get this published...
December came around and I sent Brigitte a Christmas card.
I received a Christmas card from her mom and a long letter...
Brigitte had commited suicide...
She waited until her roommates were going to go back home for the December break and Brigitte took a knife and slit her wrists. When death didn't come soon enough for her, she drank cleaning fluid that was under her kitchen sink and crawled under it, within the cabinent to die...
Her family became worried when she wasn't answering her phone calls so they drove up to the college. They found a small trail of blood that led underneath the sink... where horrified, they found her.
But she was still alive! Rushing her to the hospital, she was dead upon arrival...
She was such a beautiful young girl. Cleaning fluid bloated her face. Her mom said that she was barely recognizable... Brigitte left 27 suicide notes to her friends and family. She was sorry for what she did, but she felt no other way out...
When I heard the news... I became lost. I had never had a death affect me in such a way... I, too, felt like ending my life. In fact, most of Brigitte's friends felt the same way. Brigitte's mom became an advocate against teenage suicides.
I waited for Brigitte's mom's letter to arrive.... before I did anything rash. She told me how much hurt I would leave behind. I didn't know what to do. This beautiful 19 year old girl... her life ahead of her... and it was all for what...??
What was the point...??
I had a bible that I bought a few years before. I had never looked at it. But I thought that all families should own a bible. This time I turned to it in desperation.
It stared at me and jumped out at me... "Every green herb-bearing seed shall be for man for meat..." That saying in Genesis told me that I would become a vegetarian for one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. I would read the Bible in one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. I would exercise daily for one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. And I did.
It was a teenage girl's suicide that got me back to God.
Later in life, I would find out that the Bible I read was the Protestant Bible, the King James Bible. But, since that time I've read the Catholic Action Bible.
While looking through the songs that I've written along the course of the many years... I discovered a song that I wrote on Dec. 8th, 1981 entitled "Suicide, That's Not The Answer" about a girl who found religion impossible and her friends abandoning her. Brigitte died on Dec. 8th, 1982.
Sometimes God calls you... even in the midst of tragedies and unthinkable selfish acts of desperation... He calls you to Him. From that day onward, I turned to God... and I haven't stopped turning to Him.
I still often think about Brigitte. Would she have been that horse veterinarian...? Would she have married and had children of her own...? What would become of her today... had she not taken her life. Sadly, she appears to have taken her life because she received a "B" on her grade when she felt she deserved an "A". The pressures that young people put on themselves...!!
When I perform in plays in my church, I usually take out a full page ad. Somewhere in that ad is a dedication to the memory of Brigitte, a soul taken too soon... by her own hand.
Her death, tragic for the family, was not in vain... it took this lost soul and turned him into a Faithful follower of Jesus.
Thankfully, I was able to keep in contact with Brigitte's mom for many, many years... until her own death by illness.
I will always cherish the time when I was able to meet Brigitte's mom and dad and brother in person when they visited New York City. We avoided talking about Brigitte until we were going to leave... When I mentioned Brigitte to her mom, we both cried and hugged each other for... it seemed like eternity!
Thank you Brigitte for opening my eyes... I pray for your soul, always.
Blessings,
Joe
In those days, we didn't have web-sites to promote bands or
artists. We put out newsletters, instead. And I was no exception. I was able to get young folks all over the country to write a rock column or do artwork for me for the monthly newsletter that I published. I wanted to give these young teens a chance to express themselves through their creativity. In return, I would send them a little money... not much... but I wanted them to say that they were "professional" because they were getting paid for their self-expressions.
Brigitte was from Phoenix, Arizona. She did a rock column for me called "Phantom with the Headphones" as well as some artwork.
In the course of putting our this newsletter, I got to know these young teenagers from all over the country. They wrote to me about their dreams, their hopes and their miseries. Brigitte wanted to be a horse veterinarian.
In September of 1982, I received a Christmas card from her in the mail... but no column. I thought it was strange. Yet, knowing that young people who are involved with music or art or self-expression... sometimes, are esoteric and creatively unusual... I dismissed it.
Brigitte was heading off to college in Arizona and I knew that she must be so very busy preparing for it.
October came and went and so did November... and I didn't hear from Brigitte at all. No column. Perhaps she had lost interest in it. I had other people involved with the newsletter from all over the country and I had to get this published...
December came around and I sent Brigitte a Christmas card.
I received a Christmas card from her mom and a long letter...
Brigitte had commited suicide...
She waited until her roommates were going to go back home for the December break and Brigitte took a knife and slit her wrists. When death didn't come soon enough for her, she drank cleaning fluid that was under her kitchen sink and crawled under it, within the cabinent to die...
Her family became worried when she wasn't answering her phone calls so they drove up to the college. They found a small trail of blood that led underneath the sink... where horrified, they found her.
But she was still alive! Rushing her to the hospital, she was dead upon arrival...
She was such a beautiful young girl. Cleaning fluid bloated her face. Her mom said that she was barely recognizable... Brigitte left 27 suicide notes to her friends and family. She was sorry for what she did, but she felt no other way out...
When I heard the news... I became lost. I had never had a death affect me in such a way... I, too, felt like ending my life. In fact, most of Brigitte's friends felt the same way. Brigitte's mom became an advocate against teenage suicides.
I waited for Brigitte's mom's letter to arrive.... before I did anything rash. She told me how much hurt I would leave behind. I didn't know what to do. This beautiful 19 year old girl... her life ahead of her... and it was all for what...??
What was the point...??
I had a bible that I bought a few years before. I had never looked at it. But I thought that all families should own a bible. This time I turned to it in desperation.
It stared at me and jumped out at me... "Every green herb-bearing seed shall be for man for meat..." That saying in Genesis told me that I would become a vegetarian for one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. I would read the Bible in one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. I would exercise daily for one year for the memory and honor of Brigitte. And I did.
It was a teenage girl's suicide that got me back to God.
Later in life, I would find out that the Bible I read was the Protestant Bible, the King James Bible. But, since that time I've read the Catholic Action Bible.
While looking through the songs that I've written along the course of the many years... I discovered a song that I wrote on Dec. 8th, 1981 entitled "Suicide, That's Not The Answer" about a girl who found religion impossible and her friends abandoning her. Brigitte died on Dec. 8th, 1982.
Sometimes God calls you... even in the midst of tragedies and unthinkable selfish acts of desperation... He calls you to Him. From that day onward, I turned to God... and I haven't stopped turning to Him.
I still often think about Brigitte. Would she have been that horse veterinarian...? Would she have married and had children of her own...? What would become of her today... had she not taken her life. Sadly, she appears to have taken her life because she received a "B" on her grade when she felt she deserved an "A". The pressures that young people put on themselves...!!
When I perform in plays in my church, I usually take out a full page ad. Somewhere in that ad is a dedication to the memory of Brigitte, a soul taken too soon... by her own hand.
Her death, tragic for the family, was not in vain... it took this lost soul and turned him into a Faithful follower of Jesus.
Thankfully, I was able to keep in contact with Brigitte's mom for many, many years... until her own death by illness.
I will always cherish the time when I was able to meet Brigitte's mom and dad and brother in person when they visited New York City. We avoided talking about Brigitte until we were going to leave... When I mentioned Brigitte to her mom, we both cried and hugged each other for... it seemed like eternity!
Thank you Brigitte for opening my eyes... I pray for your soul, always.
Blessings,
Joe
